attack of the piranha bees...

the weirdest thing happened to me this morning. i went to bed around 5 am, and at 7am, i woke up with this intense, sharp, pain in my armpit. i jumped out of bed, like, "what the fuck?!," it felt like i had been stabbed or something. i looked at my armpit, and there was a red mark, then i looked down and there was a half-dead bee crawling on my sheets. i flicked it onto the floor, stomped it with a flip-flop, then put it in the garbage. i went to the bathroom to check it out, and it was all red and swollen. i checked the internet for bee sting remedies, was reminded of the old baking soda and water paste, and mixed up a bit of that. i smeared it on, and lay on the couch for a while with this caked up armpit and pain in my arm. i didn't want to go to sleep, as i was a bit paranoid of possibly being allergic. my little brother is allergic, and one time when we were kids, he got stung, and within minutes his entire body swelled up and turned purple. it was intense. luckily we lived only a few blocks from the hospital at the time. he looked like a purple michelin man. i don't have any allergies that i know of, but the thought that i might be allergic too, kind of freaked me out. so, after a while, i went back to my room to go back to sleep, and there's another half-dead bee crawling across my floor. what the fuck? why are there bees in my room? and why are they stinging me while i'm sleeping? this one got the stomp too. i fell back asleep, and woke up early this afternoon. i went to the washroom, and looked in the mirror... no sign of a sting. i felt my armpit, no bump, no soreness. i started to think that maybe i had dreamed the whole thing, but on the counter in the bathroom, there was a bowl of baking soda paste. just to make sure, i went back to my bedroom and looked in my little garbage bag, and yes, there were two dead bees in it. it did really happen. so strange.

i'm just happy they weren't piranha bees, or i'd be dead right now.



Common Name: Piranha Bee
Scientific Name: Serrasalmus Hymenoptera
Size: Length 10cm
Diet: Carnivore
Habitat: All habitable regions
Location: Sector Prime temperate planets
Organization: Hive
Natural Enemies: Dragonette

Description: A swarm of these black metallic insects can
stun and devour an entire fuzzy lummox in seven
seconds. Piranha bee honey is a potent aphrodisiac.

Senses: A piranha bee's eyes are multifaceted, and each is set within a gelatinous ovoid of green bioluminescent material. When prey is sighted, and "tasted," its eyes flash brightly alerting other scouts and sentries nearby, all the way back to the hive. The resulting swarm response is immediate.

Feeding Habits: Each massive hive holds fifty or more scouts and over one thousand hunters. Piranha bee scouts are able to search a ten kilometer range for sources of meat. When suitable prey is located, hundreds of hunters swarm to the feeding site.

A piranha bee uses its four rasped mandibles, which exude a potent anaesthetic, to rip its victim's flesh to shreds. The meat is then forced at a rapid rate down its neck and into its bulb-shaped gullet by spring-like metallic bands.

When sated, the piranha bee detaches from its victim and returns to the hive. Its head, legs and wings are removed by worker bees to be reused on a new hunter. The food bulb is then stored in one of the queen's many larders.

Reproduction: Distinguishing a piranha bee queen from the inner structural stalk of the hive itself is difficult, although the large food intake orifice located near the top of the core is easy enough to identify. Essentially, the queen is the hive, and acts as a single mass production mechanism, constantly renewing every element it needs for survival.

At some point the queen will begin to lose vigor. At this stage, queen bulbs (honey bulbs) filled with royal goo are produced. Workers attach legs, wings and special queenly heads, and drive them away to form new colonies. The hive then dies and rapidly decays into a leathery shoe-shaped husk.

Life Span: Up to 10 years.

live long,
ryan