i wouldn't have it any other way...

3::28 in the morning, sitting at the bar, finished work.
sipping on a stiegl. good shit.
smoking a belmont mild. good shit.

my book was sent out to the publisher today.
i'm stoked.

i think i'm headed to toronto this weekend to pick up an mbox and a mic.
good shit.
new songs will be up and out soon.

just applied for a videofact grant.
prolly won't get it, but if you don't apply, you'll never get it.

album comes out in june or july.
distributed across canada.
i hope.
nothing signed yet, but this is what i'm told.

i'm going to start booking shows across canada for late july/early august,
going to make my way from east coast to west coast,
in time for my little brother's wedding on vancouver island, august 12th.

my little brother's getting married.

i went out with my mom yesterday to run some errands,
i bought 16.4 meters of canvas,
and a shitload of brushes.
picking up more paint this week.
i'll be a machine.
made of flesh and blood and disease and happiness.

i'll paint a new sky with red wine and tooth decay.

women are strange, when you're a stranger,
faces look beautiful, when you're alone.

my buddy ryan was going to let me use his basement to paint in,
he paints there,
his paintings are dope,
but he found today he has to move.
fuck.
i got nowhere to paint in my house.

my flatmates like an apartment to look nice,
with furniture and living plants and rooms nobody uses.

i like blood on the walls and beer in the fridge.

i need a garage.

what are you waiting for?

should i move again?

i'm just getting started,
said the bear with both feet in the trap,
as he poured more beer into his cup,
and thought about lighting another smoke,
before this one was finished burning.

you think too much.
just let it flow.

my mom has a couple more chemo treatments to go through.
it's hard to tell how she's doing,
but i think,
overall,
she's doing well,
all things considered.

strange how life works,
i never thought i'd ever live in this city again,
but i do now,
and just a couple months after i moved back here,
unwillingly,
she gets diagnosed...

i'm glad i'm here for this.

it's not even like i see her all that much,
but just being around,
i think it's good.

just knowing i'm here.

maybe it helps.

maybe being a grandmother helps.
yes, for sure it does.

nephews and grandsons are the greatest gift a healthy recovery can receive.
and sons.

he's amazing.

i haven't seen him in a week or so.
should go by tomorrow.

is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time?
i wouldn't have it any other way.

-ryan somers,
brazillian faith healer