they're just photos after all...

"too much on my mind, got too much on my mind."
-leaders of the new school

so many things swirling around in my head right now, it's hard to deal with it all.

i hadn't heard from her in a couple of weeks. i had sent her a bunch of emails. i had told her everything. i had had more dreams. she emailed me back yesterday. i took her picture off my wall today. it's a lot to take.

my lease is up in three months. i'm trying to decide what to do. stay in london? toronto? i'm really not sure.

i have all these things to be happy about... the ok cobra album will finally see a release this summer. in another week i will start booking shows for the summer, across canada in july, europe in august. i should be excited about this. i will be. eventually. it will take time. i'm almost finished my book. it will be out this summer as well. i should be excited about this. i will be. eventually. it will take time.

i'm not sure if i'll stay in london. it's a decent, quiet little city. i'm able to get a lot of work done here. i don't hate my job. i'm making okay money. not great, but okay. rent is cheap. i wouldn't mind being back in toronto. there is more going on there. more opportunity for creative projects. not sure i want to deal with the madness though. i've considered moving to europe. my mom was born in england, so i've looked into getting a work visa for the uk, which shouldn't be a problem. i really don't know. it's difficult to imagine moving across the ocean, when you fall apart just getting out of bed.

i guess i've got a couple of months to decide.

for now, i'm just saving up money to buy a studio microphone and a protools mbox, so i can record. i've written so many songs lately. i need to get them out. i've just ordered a roll of canvas, i've got a zillion sketches and drawings, ideas for paintings. i need to get them out.

a thousand miles away, and she's a million miles away.

okay, back to my book, i need to get it done.

ryan somers