mountain no mountain...
again, i haven't written to you in a while. i just haven't felt like i've had much to say. the days and weeks have been blending into eachother...
patterns forming,
breaking these patterns,
patterns are boring...
i'm sitting at starfucks writing this. i know, i know, and yes, i'm one of those annoying people who sits in the coffee shop with their laptop. thing is, winter is here, and i need to force myself to get out of the house as soon as i wake up, or i will miss what little sunlight there is, and go crazy. starfucks has windows and wireless internet. so they win.
today is the first day of snow this season. the ground is covered. the sky is white. the air is full. every year it's the same surprise, and what i welcome now as a friend, i know will soon become my enemy. like falling in love with a woman and ending up in the most insane screaming matches a few months later. i hate you, i love you. who's fault is it?
my body has been trying to hibernate, it's been so cold the last few days. my sleeping cycle has gone totally haywire. i'll sleep 10 hours one night, 3 the next, 12 the next, 4 the next, 11 the next... so strange. but the nights i sleep only a little, i've been going for walks. i work late, i live life late into the nights, so getting up early is a rarity for me. so, on the occasional early rising, i like to get out of the house, go for walks, and see what happens with the world while i'm usually in bed. not too far from my house is a walking/bike path, along the thames river, it goes for miles, and is a wonderful walk.
my mom is in chemo right now. she has shaved her head. my step-dad shaved his head to, which i think is pretty cool.
i finished shooting my scenes yesterday in this indie movie these cats are making here in town. there will be a trailer up soon. i will link you when it's up.
not sure what else to tell you, i'm just living a very simple life these days. i am off this afternoon to buy some canvases and paints and see if i can make these things i've been seeing in my mind. it's been over a decade since i held a brush. i'm saddened by that, but i understand it now. visual art was my first love, and the first of my gifts to make itself known. before i knew words, or music, i was doodling. i look at art i made when i was eleven years old, and i know it's better than what i can make today. that is wrong. i think, at some point, i felt so much pressure from those around me to be an "artist," that i just walked away from it. i left my first love, not because i did not love her back, but because she wanted to marry before i had seen the world. a decade later, no, more, i am seeking her out again, this time, not for a romantic love, but for a friendship. i hope she accepts.
good day my friend,
make every moment count...
ryan
ps. first there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is a mountain...
patterns forming,
breaking these patterns,
patterns are boring...
i'm sitting at starfucks writing this. i know, i know, and yes, i'm one of those annoying people who sits in the coffee shop with their laptop. thing is, winter is here, and i need to force myself to get out of the house as soon as i wake up, or i will miss what little sunlight there is, and go crazy. starfucks has windows and wireless internet. so they win.
today is the first day of snow this season. the ground is covered. the sky is white. the air is full. every year it's the same surprise, and what i welcome now as a friend, i know will soon become my enemy. like falling in love with a woman and ending up in the most insane screaming matches a few months later. i hate you, i love you. who's fault is it?
my body has been trying to hibernate, it's been so cold the last few days. my sleeping cycle has gone totally haywire. i'll sleep 10 hours one night, 3 the next, 12 the next, 4 the next, 11 the next... so strange. but the nights i sleep only a little, i've been going for walks. i work late, i live life late into the nights, so getting up early is a rarity for me. so, on the occasional early rising, i like to get out of the house, go for walks, and see what happens with the world while i'm usually in bed. not too far from my house is a walking/bike path, along the thames river, it goes for miles, and is a wonderful walk.
my mom is in chemo right now. she has shaved her head. my step-dad shaved his head to, which i think is pretty cool.
i finished shooting my scenes yesterday in this indie movie these cats are making here in town. there will be a trailer up soon. i will link you when it's up.
not sure what else to tell you, i'm just living a very simple life these days. i am off this afternoon to buy some canvases and paints and see if i can make these things i've been seeing in my mind. it's been over a decade since i held a brush. i'm saddened by that, but i understand it now. visual art was my first love, and the first of my gifts to make itself known. before i knew words, or music, i was doodling. i look at art i made when i was eleven years old, and i know it's better than what i can make today. that is wrong. i think, at some point, i felt so much pressure from those around me to be an "artist," that i just walked away from it. i left my first love, not because i did not love her back, but because she wanted to marry before i had seen the world. a decade later, no, more, i am seeking her out again, this time, not for a romantic love, but for a friendship. i hope she accepts.
good day my friend,
make every moment count...
ryan
ps. first there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is a mountain...
posted by ryan somers at 12:23 PM
1 Comments:
donovan!
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