coffee, cancer, and pizza...

i just got home from having coffee with my mom. she goes in for surgery tomorrow. i'm a bit freaked out by all this, as i'm sure you can imagine. when i first found out she had cancer a few weeks ago, the first thought that crossed my mind, of course, was that she might die. plain and simple. i'm 29 years old. i don't want to be completely orphaned already. especially when my brother and jill just had a son five months ago. she just became a grandmother. it really wouldn't be fair. we lost our father when i was 14. talking to her today though, she seems pretty positive. i mean, obviously she's freaked out, who wouldn't be, but she has a good attitude, and all things considered, it looks positive. the doctors say that it's small, and should be easily taken out, and likely hasn't spread. they caught it early. okay, good. my mom's attitude was one of "this time tomorrow, i won't have cancer." positive. still, i'm freaking out a bit. but there's not much i can do, really. just try to be there for her as much as i can be. i'll do my best...

makes me think a lot about my lifestyle too. i smoke. i drink. i make maybe not the best choices in my diet. i don't really excercise all that much (although i do walk everywhere, which adds up to at least an hour or two a day, if that counts, i just don't go to the gym or play squash or fruit-boot or jog all that much). i don't know. maybe it's time soon to make a change. or maybe i'll just keep living in this invincible adolescent dream world...



ever heard of dave dub? i first met dude years ago through zest the smoker, and he sent me this cassette called "endlessness in machinery," which was one of the best things i'd heard at the time. i've got a couple of 12"'s he's put out over the years, haven't heard much recently, but i just stumble across this recent interview.



aceyalone and bukue one are coming through canada again. here's a flyer.



selfhelp will work for pizza...

okay, off to work soon,
lasers,
ryan