and the card attached would say...

thursday night the band gets together and practices, then we go out for a few drinks, and we end up back at my house, up until 5 or 6am. yesterday, at 1:45 in the afternoon, my flatmate alanna knocks on my door...

alanna: ryan, phone.
me: go away.
alanna: it's your brother.
me: i'm sleeping.
alanna: he wants me to wake you up.
me: i'll call him back...

she walks in and hands me the phone.

brother: get up. we're picking you up in 20 minutes. it's your grandmother's birthday.
me: are you serious?
brother: yup.
me: jesus...
brother: get up.
me: fuck. okay. i'm up. bring me a large coffee.

so, yeah, turns out it's my grandmother's 85th birthday. we drive out to byron, to some friend of my aunt's house. back yard style. some cat playing a synthesizer, my aunt's friend singing some jazzy numbers. a bunch of old people who i'm apparently related to, but don't really remember. it took me a while to wake up enough to be able to hold a conversation. crazy cast of characters. i haven't seen my grandmother in, i don't know, probably at least 5 years. it's my dad's mother. basically, when my father died, it's like that whole side of the family disappeared in a way. we didn't really keep in close touch with them. i think of my mom's side as more my family. my last name is technically "hanes", but i haven't really gone by that in years. it's pretty strange. part of me sometimes is a little whatever at these people, like, when my dad died and my mom and my two brothers and i were going through hell, when we lost the house, didn't have money for anything, and were struggling just to stay alive, where were these people? my dad's parents weren't there for us at all. my mom's family, they helped us out, especially my uncle tony. he's the reason we had a house to live in, a car, everything. if he hadn't of helped us out, we would have been totally screwed. so anyway, it's just pretty strange being at this celebration, and having conversations with this family that i'm supposedly a part of, but don't really feel a connection to at all. a bit surreal. i think it might be kind of weird for them too though. in the last couple of years, i think i've started to look more and more like my father, so it must be a bit strange for them to see their dead brother in my face. i don't know how i'd handle that. sorry i'm rambling a bit, it was another late one last night, stayed up until 7 or so, with a few cats on the porch. too much candy. not enough candy.



happy hour with mark mckay, episode 8 is up now.



pat giles.



susana ferreira.

lasers,
ryan